Today was a busy day for me...
yesterday night i didn't get to sleep well. And my class start at 11.30. Wednesday is just another busy day for me. 3 class in a day. Phew...><
Today i stayed at the college citc for so long..just to finished my software assignment. I really hate that subject so much...every week it's making me angry...but i just need to endure for few more weeks then i get to say bye bye to this subject.haha....=P
Today after completing the and printing out the assignment...my head is turning round and round....my mind is totally blank..cant think of anything....just feel like fainting. Then i just get some rest...then only feel better..
After that i join my classmate for dinner....'OLD TOWN'..haha...i realise that i starts to love old town...just cause of that person. Hmm...and i learn to drink 'si mat nai cha'. He introduce that drink to me..and he likes it very much too....everytime we go old town he also order that. When i go to places that both of us went b4...i sure thinks of him.
Just cant leave my mind....
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
it's just another day of missing.
I thought that i've totally forgotten everything...can let go everything...forget bout him and this and that.
But actually day and night, i'm always thinking of him...every single day...wake up till going to sleep....i even dream of him too...really that miss him?
what can i do ? No matter how i miss him...i also wanna control myself to not to find him. Cause i scare of rejection and ignorance. Miss him also cant tell him. It's really very suffer..why i just cant let go everything and moved on with my life?
I dunno how much i love him..but...i know it's not that little....is deep inside.
Can i wait for him? Is there still a chance for us?
He really touched my heart and tat makes me falls for him at first.
If can, i hope that all these things din happen before....if at first we really appreciate each other...
i'll always put u in my heart...<3
But actually day and night, i'm always thinking of him...every single day...wake up till going to sleep....i even dream of him too...really that miss him?
what can i do ? No matter how i miss him...i also wanna control myself to not to find him. Cause i scare of rejection and ignorance. Miss him also cant tell him. It's really very suffer..why i just cant let go everything and moved on with my life?
I dunno how much i love him..but...i know it's not that little....is deep inside.
Can i wait for him? Is there still a chance for us?
He really touched my heart and tat makes me falls for him at first.
If can, i hope that all these things din happen before....if at first we really appreciate each other...
i'll always put u in my heart...<3
Friday, March 11, 2011
It's over
Kinda feeling better these few days...the reason for it was because i finally can let go of everything and just lead a happy life. There's lot of things happening around me since last December. But now..after everything is being settled.I finally can have some rest.
After getting all the hurts again and again...i decided that i wanted a break...i need to heal the wounds of my heart. Sometimes i just feel myself being so stupid and naive. Believes people easily. I learn a lesson.
Yesterday night i get to know all the truth...all the ugly truth. Although all the words really hurts me...but i never cry...not even drop a single tears...I've learn to be strong. Shouldn't have cried for someone that not worth it. All the hurts all the things that i gone through really builds my character. I keep all the hurts inside and just let my heart cry. I had to be strong to not not lose to the person.
I'll be strong and keep moving on...^^
After getting all the hurts again and again...i decided that i wanted a break...i need to heal the wounds of my heart. Sometimes i just feel myself being so stupid and naive. Believes people easily. I learn a lesson.
Yesterday night i get to know all the truth...all the ugly truth. Although all the words really hurts me...but i never cry...not even drop a single tears...I've learn to be strong. Shouldn't have cried for someone that not worth it. All the hurts all the things that i gone through really builds my character. I keep all the hurts inside and just let my heart cry. I had to be strong to not not lose to the person.
I'll be strong and keep moving on...^^
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Just another day
I'm unhappy and moody again...lots of things are happening around me. There is a guy tat come across my mind. We just get to know each other on the 3rd of Dec 2010. Tat was the first time both of us chat, although we know each other exist. So we get to know each other more after tat day and exchange phone number. Sometimes he do sms me, but tat time i din really bother him much..but i still reply his message.
An one day he say that he wanted to date me out. So we went to yamcha... tat was the first day we really talk to each other face to face. At first seeing this person i thought tat he wasn't the person tat i really like. But after getting in touch more often..i think i fall for him ald. I like his character...he's a funny person...always make me laugh. And i remember got once, he said something tat make me laugh till i cry. That was just so funny...couldn't resist it.^^
So we went to places like, feeling cafe, old town, steven corner, snow bliss, pavilion, we went to play snooker too. I remember tat time we first went to steven corner...i order milo ice. and after sipping for 5 min...then i realised there's something inside the milo...guess what??Is a DEAD FLY!!! You just cant imagine how disgusting it was. And he laugh bout tat... and we just couldn't forget that incident. haha....
Hmmm....i thought we really love each other...but it ald ended. Cause there's something more important for him to do. I accept and agree with what he wants to focus. But at that point i do feel tat why he just cant focus both things at the same time. It is not that hard....
But he ald choose tat path...
Yesterday while i was watching a drama... there is a girl in the scene tat just same with me...same situation. In the scene... the guy actually really loves the girl very much, but because of something that is more important to him....he gave up the girl...The girl starts to realized tat he was treating her so coldly and she dun even knows what's happening. She consulted that guy's friend and ask him what happen. The friend just told the girl tat actually she ald understand what's happening...she just cant accept it...and even if she continue to ask...the end will still be the same. That guy ald make his decision...there's no turning back. The situation is just the same as what i'm going through right now.
I just hope tat i can get over all these as fast as possible...every single day i'm thinking of him and feeling moody. I want back my happy life. All the best to me...<3
An one day he say that he wanted to date me out. So we went to yamcha... tat was the first day we really talk to each other face to face. At first seeing this person i thought tat he wasn't the person tat i really like. But after getting in touch more often..i think i fall for him ald. I like his character...he's a funny person...always make me laugh. And i remember got once, he said something tat make me laugh till i cry. That was just so funny...couldn't resist it.^^
So we went to places like, feeling cafe, old town, steven corner, snow bliss, pavilion, we went to play snooker too. I remember tat time we first went to steven corner...i order milo ice. and after sipping for 5 min...then i realised there's something inside the milo...guess what??Is a DEAD FLY!!! You just cant imagine how disgusting it was. And he laugh bout tat... and we just couldn't forget that incident. haha....
Hmmm....i thought we really love each other...but it ald ended. Cause there's something more important for him to do. I accept and agree with what he wants to focus. But at that point i do feel tat why he just cant focus both things at the same time. It is not that hard....
But he ald choose tat path...
Yesterday while i was watching a drama... there is a girl in the scene tat just same with me...same situation. In the scene... the guy actually really loves the girl very much, but because of something that is more important to him....he gave up the girl...The girl starts to realized tat he was treating her so coldly and she dun even knows what's happening. She consulted that guy's friend and ask him what happen. The friend just told the girl tat actually she ald understand what's happening...she just cant accept it...and even if she continue to ask...the end will still be the same. That guy ald make his decision...there's no turning back. The situation is just the same as what i'm going through right now.
I just hope tat i can get over all these as fast as possible...every single day i'm thinking of him and feeling moody. I want back my happy life. All the best to me...<3
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Hurts??
It has been 1 year d. Time really flies....
Thinking back of how i've gone through the difficult times last year. ='(
leaving someone and forgetting someone that u really love, and putting so much hope with that person really needs a lot of time. At first, thought that i cant lives without him. Really really need him.....everyday thinking bout him, cry cause of him. In the end all these causes my heart to have a wound. A deep deep wound. Seems like nobody can ever help me to heal it..not even myself!
Thinking back bout that time, i really feel myself being very stupid and stubborn. Know that it will hurt me in the end but i still fall into it. After being like that for quite long, i've decided to give up...decided to let go. and i did....din really think bout him much although we still gt contact with each other.
After all these things that i've gone through, i realised that i've changed. No longer like the previous Esther. Izit a good thing??? I feel like i've lost myself....cant find it back anymore.
Can somebody pls take away the hurts and heal my wound?? I don't wanna be so suffer. I wan back myself!
Friday, November 12, 2010
ReLaTiOnShIpS????
Have been away from writing blog for quite some time. Today decide to write bout this topic...
--------------------------------RELATIONSHIPS------------------------------------
Today, i just get to know that both of me seniors had broken up. Both of them has been together for more than 4 years i think...But now they broke up..i feel surprised when i heard bout it. Sometimes i'm thinking whether relationship is a long-term thingy or not....when u really love a person with all ur heart...there always will happen something that wasn't what u wanted....
It's always hard for a girl and a guy to be together....but it's so so so easy for them to just to say 'break up' and say 'bye bye' to each other....
It takes how long for a person to recover from the HURTS & SADNESS??
for me....it really took a long time for me to think through and get away from all the hurts that are poking into my heart. Now....i feel i'm no longer what i used to be....i feel myself change!! Change to be worse....
To every couple: If u decided to start a relationship with someone that u had fell in love with....pls love them with all ur heart...and if there's really any problem between both of u....u should talk it out with each other....dun drag things....it will be worse!!
God Bless!!!^^
--------------------------------RELATIONSHIPS------------------------------------
Today, i just get to know that both of me seniors had broken up. Both of them has been together for more than 4 years i think...But now they broke up..i feel surprised when i heard bout it. Sometimes i'm thinking whether relationship is a long-term thingy or not....when u really love a person with all ur heart...there always will happen something that wasn't what u wanted....
It's always hard for a girl and a guy to be together....but it's so so so easy for them to just to say 'break up' and say 'bye bye' to each other....
It takes how long for a person to recover from the HURTS & SADNESS??
for me....it really took a long time for me to think through and get away from all the hurts that are poking into my heart. Now....i feel i'm no longer what i used to be....i feel myself change!! Change to be worse....
To every couple: If u decided to start a relationship with someone that u had fell in love with....pls love them with all ur heart...and if there's really any problem between both of u....u should talk it out with each other....dun drag things....it will be worse!!
God Bless!!!^^
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