It's ended~

Hmmm..had been away for quite some time. Now i realize that when i write a blog is always related to relationships..^^

LOVE in my life is a NOTHING right now. I'm not longing for it...I dun really WANT IT. yea...last time i was like i cant live without a bf. But now..i realize what i did was just so childish.

can i say that i dun really believe and have confidence in guys anymore. When they say they are DIFFERENT, and they are really not that much DIFFERENT actually! They are just the SAME! At the first stage they will be so good...just like the guy that u longing for so long...but after all u will only realize that is just ur nightmare. ><

After all these hurtful experience. what i hated the most is not guys...is MEMORIES. I dislike surprises....i dislike touching memories. Cause when it ended..all these memories will just flow in to ur minds without stopping or without an end. It only brings wounds and not happiness. At first when he gives me surprises and really touch me....honestly...yea..it really touches me...But i do feel sad too...cause i scare these happiness will bring sadness to me in the end.

FATE

Now i really understand that fate is come naturally also is not made. This morning while i was going for my class. I know that i'll passby his lecture hall..but i din expect that i'll get to see him. I was just finding his car, i scan my eyes throughout the place but i cant see his car. And then i realize that they is a car parking. Ans is the model of car he's driving. I dare not look at the person in the car at that time. And i ask my friend to help to to take a look. It was really him. I just wave and like saying a hi to him...and he did it too..At that time he's still inside the car, i thought of stopping awhile to just talk with him. But in the end after waving then i just walk off to go for my class d.

After that i really felt regret that y i din talk with him. I miss him so much and i've been wanting to see him so badly. But i've lost that chance...That time i just feel like crying. I know our relationship had ended. But he still can treat me as his friend without thinking that i'm his ex rite? Why i can think like that but he couldn't? Just dun really understand.

Today i'm happy is not just because that i met him. The another thing that y i'm so happy that i met him is cause this is the first time we meet in college(not including prom night). Is there really fate between us?No matter what..whether i really lost the chance to talk with him..I believe that if we have the fate. We surely will meet each other some other day. I just hope we can back like good friends.

Friends Forever^^

Busy busy day =(

Today was a busy day for me...
yesterday night i didn't get to sleep well. And my class start at 11.30. Wednesday is just another busy day for me. 3 class in a day. Phew...><
Today i stayed at the college citc for so long..just to finished my software assignment. I really hate that subject so much...every week it's making me angry...but i just need to endure for few more weeks then i get to say bye bye to this subject.haha....=P

Today after completing the and printing out the assignment...my head is turning round and round....my mind is totally blank..cant think of anything....just feel like fainting. Then i just get some rest...then only feel better..

After that i join my classmate for dinner....'OLD TOWN'..haha...i realise that i starts to love old town...just cause of that person. Hmm...and i learn to drink 'si mat nai cha'. He introduce that drink to me..and he likes it very much too....everytime we go old town he also order that. When i go to places that both of us went b4...i sure thinks of him.

Just cant leave my mind....

it's just another day of missing.

I thought that i've totally forgotten everything...can let go everything...forget bout him and this and that.
But actually day and night, i'm always thinking of him...every single day...wake up till going to sleep....i even dream of him too...really that miss him?
what can i do ? No matter how i miss him...i also wanna control myself to not to find him. Cause i scare of rejection and ignorance. Miss him also cant tell him. It's really very suffer..why i just cant let go everything and moved on with my life?
I dunno how much i love him..but...i know it's not that little....is deep inside.
Can i wait for him? Is there still a chance for us?
He really touched my heart and tat makes me falls for him at first.
If can, i hope that all these things din happen before....if at first we really appreciate each other...

i'll always put u in my heart...<3

it's just another day of missing.

It's over

Kinda feeling better these few days...the reason for it was because i finally can let go of everything and just lead a happy life. There's lot of things happening around me since last December. But now..after everything is being settled.I finally can have some rest.
After getting all the hurts again and again...i decided that i wanted a break...i need to heal the wounds of my heart. Sometimes i just feel myself being so stupid and naive. Believes people easily. I learn a lesson.

Yesterday night i get to know all the truth...all the ugly truth. Although all the words really hurts me...but i never cry...not even drop a single tears...I've learn to be strong. Shouldn't have cried for someone that not worth it. All the hurts all the things that i gone through really builds my character. I keep all the hurts inside and just let my heart cry. I had to be strong to not not lose to the person.

I'll be strong and keep moving on...^^

Just another day

I'm unhappy and moody again...lots of things are happening around me. There is a guy tat come across my mind. We just get to know each other on the 3rd of Dec 2010. Tat was the first time both of us chat, although we know each other exist. So we get to know each other more after tat day and exchange phone number. Sometimes he do sms me, but tat time i din really bother him much..but i still reply his message.

An one day he say that he wanted to date me out. So we went to yamcha... tat was the first day we really talk to each other face to face. At first seeing this person i thought tat he wasn't the person tat i really like. But after getting in touch more often..i think i fall for him ald. I like his character...he's a funny person...always make me laugh. And i remember got once, he said something tat make me laugh till i cry. That was just so funny...couldn't resist it.^^

So we went to places like, feeling cafe, old town, steven corner, snow bliss, pavilion, we went to play snooker too. I remember tat time we first went to steven corner...i order milo ice. and after sipping for 5 min...then i realised there's something inside the milo...guess what??Is a DEAD FLY!!! You just cant imagine how disgusting it was. And he laugh bout tat... and we just couldn't forget that incident. haha....

Hmmm....i thought we really love each other...but it ald ended. Cause there's something more important for him to do. I accept and agree with what he wants to focus. But at that point i do feel tat why he just cant focus both things at the same time. It is not that hard....
But he ald choose tat path...

Yesterday while i was watching a drama... there is a girl in the scene tat just same with me...same situation. In the scene... the guy actually really loves the girl very much, but because of something that is more important to him....he gave up the girl...The girl starts to realized tat he was treating her so coldly and she dun even knows what's happening. She consulted that guy's friend and ask him what happen. The friend just told the girl tat actually she ald understand what's happening...she just cant accept it...and even if she continue to ask...the end will still be the same. That guy ald make his decision...there's no turning back. The situation is just the same as what i'm going through right now.

I just hope tat i can get over all these as fast as possible...every single day i'm thinking of him and feeling moody. I want back my happy life. All the best to me...<3